I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Randomize
