I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
worst night to have a conscience
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
