seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
