she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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