Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
