You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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