i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
