I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
