She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
