A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
This is my gift to your gina
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
