I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize