seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
