ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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