very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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