If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize