in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
