I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
