tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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