College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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