Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
