we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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