ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize