So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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