I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
