I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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