so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
