a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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