Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
