I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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