I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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