Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
