im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize