I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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