He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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