Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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