I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
what day is it and did you see me today?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
