its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
