She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize