On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
