Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
