imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
