if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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