You're completely useless in the revolution.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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