Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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