I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
