no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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