i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
