Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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