He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
