My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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