I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
