I wish I could teleport
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She needs sedatives and a leash
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
