There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
