he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
