I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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