I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
