When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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