My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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