My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
