we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
