Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
