That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
