Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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