I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
that may or may not have been my penis.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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