you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
