dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
