pedialite and red bull = repair kit
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize