I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
